Sunday 6th April

' I don't want to control it. I want to get rid of it.'      Bruce Banner aka Incredible Hulk.

I was watching the film for the umpteenth time with the boys yesterday.  Well, I was in the room  :-)  Once you have seen one superhero movie you have seen them all.  Especially when you have seen them all before.

I quite often watch films with Jesus.  He always has interesting observations ( sometimes completely off plot!) about what is going on.  Sometimes the whole narrative is prophetic  - remember Braveheart?  (Well, you would if you were living in Scotland at the time - it sent the church there nuts!!!)  Sometimes its just a line or a character or a plot twist which He highlights.  And in the Hulk last night it was that line which caught my attention.   Bruce wasn't interested in anger management or a lifetime of hiding away - he wanted to be completely rid of his problem and was prepared to risk death by taking the untested antidote in order to be free.

It made me wonder how hungry and passionate we are to get rid of our problems and besetting sins.  Are we content to manage our difficulties ?  Our angry outbursts, our depression, our habits, our lyying/greedy/attention seeking/ manipulative/selfish/lazy behaviours?   Do we put on a respectable face and trot to church on a Sunday with no intention of ever raising our hand for prayer or responding to a challenging sermon about any of our issues?   Do we ask God to help us manage our problems rather than asking Him to deliver us from all evil.?  And if we ask Him to deliver us are we really prepared to go the whole nine yards to get rid of the junk?

A few years ago a married friend of mine was hotly pursued by a married man who made it quite clear that he wanted to embark on affair with her.  He complimented her and bought her presents.  He was kind and understanding and lovely.  He made her feel great.  And he was always there because they worked in the same place.   My friend was in torment. She was very very tempted - but she really didn't want to succumb.

 She couldn't escape - she had to go to work every day, and his tactics were sneaky and underhand - he knew exactly which buttons to press.  Meanwhile of course friends husband was busy at work, not paying attention etc etc.   She knew she was about to do something she would eternally regret.
So - sensibly, and with a great deal of courage, she told a few christian friends what was going on.   She confessed how tempted she was.  How much she enjoyed the attention.  Confession is VERY good for the soul.  Because it immediately makes you accountable.  And it surrounds you with support.
Over months and months and months she battled with her feelings.  And she tried hard to resist his advances. There were times when she made great strides forward and then times when she lapsed in her thinking and actions.  But with the help of praying friends she became ever more determined to do the right thing.  After several months - maybe even a year - she suddenly arrived at the place where she knew she really did not want this man in her life any more.  She began to despise him.  She was ready for soul ties to be cut and for God to up the ante.  She started to actively resist and mentally she toughened up amazingly.  She also began to really put some huge efforts into her own marriage.   I was super impressed by her commitment.   She didn't want to control it - she wanted to be rid of it.

A year or so down the line and she is free.  The man is still working alongside her and still active in his pursuit of her - although he doesn't get much chance these days as she is hyper vigilant to avoid him at all costs.  She has resisted temptation and resisted the devil and both have flown far from her.  My goodness what a battle it has been.  I have been super privileged to share some of it with her.  It took determination and vulnerabililty and courage.  But she won through.  I'm proud of her. So is God.

The devil fights mean and hard.  He doesn't give up easily - and knowing this I think that sometimes we are scared to even go there.  We opt for controlling and covering over our character flaws and sins rather than letting God root them out of us.  I'm as guilty as anyone of this.  More than most perhaps.
I think there are a few keys to help us along the way.

1) be accountable.  Tell someone.  Trust me, we are all made of the same stuff and have the same temptations and failings.  Nothing you have done or thought is any worse than what the rest of us have done or thought.  Honestly - it isn't.  Find the right person or people to tell and get some help.  You will need it
2) prepare for the long haul.  Bad habits take years to form. Character weaknesses are part of who we are.  It is possible but unlikely that God is going to deliver us in one go. Someone once said to me that being a Christian is like coming to God as a piece of string full of knots.  The Christian life is about letting God unpick the knots.  Some are big and tightly tied and will take some time to undo.
3) When you fall and fail get up and go again.
4) Stay determined to be free.  Pursue truth because it is truth that will set you free. Pretty much everything which ensnares and entangles us is based on lies.
5) rejoice in every victory and keep your eyes fixed on the end goal. Surround yourself with people who really believe you will get there and who are cheering for you.

Lord, help us not to accommodate things in our lives which make You unhappy.  Give us the strength and courage to resist temptation and to root out the junk which the enemy has sown and we have allowed to grow.  Fill us with the Truth of Your word and surround us with the Godly counsel of people who love us. Pick us up when we fall and lead us through to a plce of victory so that our testimony can be one of freedom in Christ.   Amen